


i fantasize about you too

by curtwen



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Catra (She-Ra) Redemption, Communication, Confessions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Feelings, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, POV Catra (She-Ra), Sad with a Happy Ending, She-Ra Season 3, Slow Burn, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-19 11:35:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20209075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/curtwen/pseuds/curtwen
Summary: (SHE-RA SEASON 3 SPOILERS)Catra, now a prisoner of Brightmoon after her actions with the portal, reflects. She thinks about how and why she got here. She thinks about Adora.A grieving Glimmer interrupts that.





	i fantasize about you too

The sound of nails raking across the floor echoed in the large, mostly empty room. It was loud, and pierced her ears in a way that nearly hurt, but she didn’t really care. Catra didn’t care about much at all now.

She still had no idea how they actually got her here. It was all a blur, starting from the second Adora reversed the portal.

_ Adora._

The sound grew louder, harsher.

In the midst of the chaos, she was grabbed by someone - she’s still really not sure who - and was brought back to Brightmoon with the rest of them. And then, as if it wasn’t enough already, Shadow Weaver was allowed to walk freely whilst Catra was stuck in the circle of magic in this room. A prisoner.

So this was her fate. Whether it be at Hordak's or Brightmoon's hands, Catra was fated to end up a prisoner. Nothing she did would ever be enough for anyone. She was born into infamy, and she'll die in it too.

Catra wasn't really sure when she started crying. She merely felt her wet cheeks and gritted her teeth as her nails dug further into the tile. _ Pathetic. Fucking pathetic. _

The sound of the door opening stopped her cold, her ears twitching a bit as she heard someone step inside, close the door, and walk forward. Despite this, she refused to look up; why bother meeting eyes with them? Her only relief was knowing for sure it wasn't Adora, as the footsteps sounded different.

"Catra."

_ Ah. _ She recognized the voice as belonging to Glimmer. Typical the princess would come to see her. Likely to taunt her, remind her how much she deserved to be trapped here.

Not that she _ didn't _ deserve it.

"Come for a show, Sparkles?" Catra deadpanned, fixating her eyes on her nails. Anything to keep from meeting Glimmer's eyes.

When the princess spoke next, it was a tone completely different than Catra had ever heard from her. "There's so much I want to say to you. So much I want to scream in your face about. You know that?" Catra managed a small glance upward, and saw Glimmer's fists, shaking. It… scared her.

"I… I just can't organize it all. You kidnapped me, let me be tortured. You've hurt Adora, so much. You've hurt the people I love. You're… you're the reason why I'm a Queen right now," Glimmer ranted, her voice breaking.

_ Queen? _

Catra was too stunned to speak, but she found that was fine, because Glimmer wasn't finished. "But you know what? I still can't… I just can't bring myself to hate you. I just want to hate you so much, Catra, but I can't and it's all so confusing." Glimmer sounds like she's crying, too, now.

Catra dared to look up, meeting Glimmer's eyes. They're a reflection of her own; red, wet, broken. She opened her mouth, trying to say something - anything, seriously - but her throat wouldn't cooperate. Glimmer continued still.

"Catra… I don't hate you. I don't. Because I know… I guess I kind of know why you did this. Why you did everything. You've just… been in the shadow of someone else your whole life. And no matter what you do, you can't escape it, and no one will take you seriously, and you just have to work _ so hard _ to get even basic respect. And then… and with how the Horde doesn't really teach you what a good relationship is like… you just turn all your anger and frustration out on the source of your pain, the reason why you're never taken seriously. And then it escalates, and it gets worse and worse and _ you can't even say sorry _-"

Glimmer cupped a hand over her mouth, eyes shut tight as she sobbed. Catra was frozen in shock. Not only did Glimmer completely read her, but the way she described it… that was far too personal. Sure, the Horde mention was about Catra specifically, but it was too much of a coincidence. It turned out they were far more similar than Catra had ever realized.

"You too, huh?" Catra said quietly, and for a moment she thought Glimmer didn't hear her over her own cries, but the girl nodded in response.

"...My… my mom. She's always… she was always the - the p-perfect queen. And I… I'm just a - a stupid princess who puts people in - in danger. And then I yelled at her and I - I called her a coward, and I… Catra, I think she's… she's gone because of me. Because I was so fucking jealous."

To this, Catra was silent. She couldn't help but empathize with Glimmer, and realized then that she just caused her to lose her mother. What she did… Turning on the portal despite all the warnings just to get back at Adora… She's the reason Glimmer is like this right now, breaking down in front of her.

Suddenly, she feels sick.

"Glimmer… it isn't your fault. You're not why she's gone. It's me. It's all my fault. You were right, okay? I'm jealous and angry and I… I opened the portal and now your mom is gone. There's literally no way I can go back from this." She doesn't know why, but suddenly she's spilling her guts here, to Glimmer, the princess, and she can't stop it all from tumbling out. "I just… I wanted to prove myself. I wanted someone to finally value me and see me as a - a good soldier or something. I… Hordak's validation mattered more to me than anything else. Because… because that'd finally prove without a doubt I was _ worth _ something. But then, I fucked it all up. I hurt so many people. Hordak was going to send me to fucking Beast Island." She stopped, breathing in, wiping her face. "I never wanted it to go this wrong," she said quietly.

When Catra dared to meet Glimmer's eyes once again, she found herself - once again - taken aback by what she saw. Glimmer was staring at her like she'd never seen her before, her face drawn up in pity and sorrow and _ understanding. _ It was all… so much. Too much.

Glimmer spoke again. "You know, Catra. I think, if I'd had no good influences, I would've become just like you. I… I would have done terrible things, too. You know that?"

"I… No, I… I didn't."

"Well, you do now." Glimmer paused, sitting down on the floor in front of the circle, drawing her knees up to her chest. "Catra, I want to help you. I want to help you be better, and feel better. Because… I don't know, call me stupid, but I don't think you're evil."

Catra's mind spun, there. On one hand, defensively, she wanted to refuse, to proclaim that she didn't need her stupid pity help. That she could build herself up on her own, without standing in someone's fucking shadow again. But the other part of her was so tired - of being angry, of fighting, of falling further into her depressive cycles. And she knew, very well, that Glimmer really did understand her, and that she was nothing like Adora, and that her offer to help was really, truly about _ her. _

She was just as confused as Glimmer when she said, "Okay. Help me, please."

For a moment, Glimmer stared in astonishment, before she asked, a bit timidly, "Really? You really want me to help? No tricks?"

Catra found her reply to be genuine, another surprise to herself. "No tricks."

Glimmer looked a bit unsure for a moment, not that Catra blamed her, before slowly moving a hand forward and breaking the circle. The magic field around her dissipated and fell, but Catra didn't move. Not immediately, anyway.

"...I don't know what to do, Glimmer. I don't even know where to start," Catra said quietly. She held none of her usual brash confidence. None of her typical snark. She was scared.

"That's okay, Catra. We can get there, together. You can heal." Glimmer offered a hand out to the other girl, and that combined with her words hit Catra's breaking point. She let out a sob and fell into Glimmer's arms, holding tightly around her as she cried. While surprised at first, Glimmer relaxed, and she rubbed one hand up and down Catra's back as her mother had done to calm her so many times before. "It's okay, Catra. It's okay." She cooed gently into the girl's hair for the few minutes Catra simply lay in her embrace crying.

When the girl finally moved up away from Glimmer's chest, the princess smiled a little. "You feel better?"

Typically, that reply would be sarcastic in the Horde - no one _ cared _. But Glimmer did, and she knew it wasn't just sarcasm, so she replied in turn. "Yeah. I… I think so. I'm sorry, Glimmer. I'm so sorry, for… everything."

Glimmer's smile turned a little sad, but remained all the same. "Listen. Catra, I'll be honest with you. Some of it… I haven't forgiven yet. I don't really know if I ever will forgive some things. But I don't hate you for it, okay? And if you want to try to fix things… well, I'll gladly take it."

Catra nodded, wiping at her eyes. "...Yeah. Yeah, I understand. I just… I really am sorry. I'll do whatever I can to prove it to you."

"Hey, no, none of that proving stuff. You don't have to prove yourself, okay? And you're not below me, or anything. You don't need to worry about any of that anymore, Catra, I promise," Glimmer spoke with determination, holding onto the girl's arms. She moved one hand, petting it through some of Catra's hair. "Please don't think you need to seek my approval, Catra. It's okay."

By now, Catra was a little overwhelmed. She'd just gone from convincing herself she was scum, to one of her enemies offering her real friendship. It was a lot to process. "Glimmer, I… I don't… I don't _ deserve _ this, not at all. But… Thank you. Thank you so… so much. I needed this."

Glimmer smiled softly, her hands still on Catra. "I think I did too. And you _ do _ deserve this, you sad jerk," she grinned, the smile actually reaching her eyes now. For now, she shed some of that sorrow she'd been holding, and that was not unnoticed by Catra.

"If you say so, Sparkles," she retorted, smiling back. Glimmer huffed and gently punched her in the arm, and Catra merely laughed in response. She _ laughed. _ It felt like the first time in weeks.

"Now c'mon. I'm sure you're tired, and now that you aren't… well, now that you're a little better I'm sure you'll be able to sleep." Glimmer said, and then teleported them both to another room. It was much more furnished, looking like it was actually lived in, with trinkets and glassware all around, and a bed hanging from the ceiling.

"This is my room."

_ Oh. _

"...Your room? I'm in your room? I - Why?" Catra only realized as it came out how insulting that sounded, and she made a face.

"Because I know you Horde types. Can't sleep alone and all that. So, we're in my room. Got enough bed space for two." Glimmer spoke carefully, and Catra realized - thankfully - that she'd purposefully avoided saying Adora outright.

"Um… thank you. You're right." She glanced up at the hanging bed, pointing with a thumb. "You mind?"

"Oh - yeah. 'Course." Glimmer put a hand on Catra's arm again and the two appeared on the bed, in the middle of a mess of blankets and pillows. "Sorry if it's too soft. I can take some blankets off."

Catra pressed against it experimentally, laying down in a corner. "...No, it's okay. It's… it's nice. Uh… thanks. Seriously." The girl's face tinted red a little bit as she spoke, and she covered it with a small circular pillow.

"Well, okay. Nap time, then. I'm pretty sure we both desperately need it," Glimmer smiled, letting out a soft chuckle. She draped herself underneath the blankets, snuggling into the pillows. "You know, Catra, I don't have a disease. You can move closer."

"Hey, if you were diseased, I'd have already taken you out," Catra replied, attempting to stress a joking tone with it. Regardless, she shifted forward a bit, curling up near Glimmer's ankles. To be quite honest, she was afraid of moving too close. Overstepping bounds. She already felt like she was overstepping just by being here, she didn't need it to be worse.

Despite this, Glimmer reached a hand out, taking Catra's and gently pulling it toward her. Catra flushed and slowly rose to her knees, shifting forward about a good inch. Evidently, Glimmer did not find that satisfactory, as she continued to pull. And pull, and pull, until they were nearly spooning. Catra swallowed nervously, turning to face away from Glimmer as she wrapped up in blanket. "Um. Goodnight, Sparkles."

"Goodnight, Catra."

**Author's Note:**

> season 3 fucked me up. take it. just fucking take it im so upset


End file.
